Bunny Towers

We here at Bunny Towers run a tight ship .. well, if it were a ship it would be tightly run, but as it is it isn’t and its still tightly run, but you get the idea! We also like to welcome new members to our team in the same way we would welcome a nice chutney and carrot stew and therefore when a position for roving reporter was to be filled, it went to the one who could cook the very best carrot and chutney stew in the shortest amount of time whilst reporting on the days events. Therefore we are pleased to say the magic words, ”Your hired… ” to “Katie Knoxx!”

Katie, who has been wowing many at BT with her infectious giggles and stories of behind the scenes shenanigans at celebrity parties, has already been thrown in at the deep end (would have been deeper had Mm had their water update released on time) with the enviable task of being assigned a rare exclusive interview with Professor B. Layton.

Katie has been granted exclusive access to A.T.B.A.S.T.L to discuss the recent sighting of the LAG monster with the good Professor, and what his teams findings mean for Bunny land and the world at large. Remaining with the topic of LAG, Katie will also be interviewing Boo on Wednesday as part of our special LAG Week, discussing her own personal near-miss experience at the monsters hands.

Firstly Professor, I would like to thank you for granting us this exclusive interview, we appreciate that you are extremely busy at present and feel honoured to be allowed to question you at such short notice.

‘Please, the pleasure is all mine.’

May I begin by asking you about the recent image that you and your wonderful team here at All Things Bright And Some Things Light came in to possession of, namely the fabled LAG Monster, and if there has been any further advances with regard to it’s understanding?

‘We here at A.T.B.A.S.T.L try to deal with facts, although at present those have been few and far-between with regard to the LM as I am sure you appreciate, particularly when dealing with a phenomenon that has been notoriously difficult to document outside of anecdotal evidence.’

‘The image you refer to however, that we fortunately came into possession of, has been of immense importance to our understanding of the lag-monster-effect (LME), as it is termed in-house. We have had our team working to enhance the image quality around the clock, and they have done an amazing job. We are able to release a new portion of the image that shows not only much more clarity than earlier, but also some interesting markings on its surface that may be of greater importance to the scientific world.’

Besides looking extremely menacing and if you don’t mind my adding, in need of a good bash, can you explain exactly what the picture tells that may not be so obvious to the average bunny?

‘Essentially the LM has a number of cluster marks on its skin that have been highlighted — and I use the word ‘skin’ loosely. But from our research we believe the nodules to be points of secretion that affords the LM its ability to manipulate surrounding space and time as it seeks out its next prey, by discharging emissions of its own lag-matter that must be replenished soon after. This perhaps better explained by use of the clouding effect that many have described, time slowing down to the point of no return, someone or something then vanishing directly from view as if taken.’

‘In other words, the monster must be selective when hunting as every materialisation comes at a cost to its own internal lag matter. Losing too much would be a catastrophe, therefore it has learned to balance the equilibrium out over millennia remarkably well, and prove itself to be a worthy foe with a high success rate’

Your latest experiments regarding the lag-particle-detector that was mentioned previously. Have you and your team progressed further with development, and if so would you mind sharing your findings?

‘Its somewhat rudimentary in its current form, but if we are correct – and we firmly believe we are, then there is every chance that lag will be predictable sometime in the near future and therefore avoidable to a greater extent than at present. But as for actively fighting LAG – this is much more difficult. Although we are working on a number of ideas that may take us in the direction to make it much more difficult for lag molecules to form, once they begin to enter a zone; but all providing the early warning system works well enough in our trials! So lets not get ahead of ourselves just yet.’

Is there any truth to the widely held view that LAG is to all extent and purpose all conquering, and could eventually reach a tipping point that would see it consuming enough of the worlds resources to create a catastrophe of unimaginable proportions?

‘LOL + 4.5! Really, you have been watching perhaps a little too much TV, perhaps playing those silly computer games or merely intend to spread idle gossip as fact, but it’s really not going to happen. I am glad that you raised the issue of lag in its inherent form however, and not focused merely on the ‘monster’ itself, although the two are exponentially linked.’

What do you mean by that exactly, as it sounds as though you are suggesting the monster and lag are somehow entwined together in some way?

‘Well, the “monster” that has been seen and known to exist may in fact be a manifestation of the lag dark matter itself – a desire to seek out and survive from a molecular level and therefore manifests itself into a “partial zone” that allows it to seek out its prey in a form that is higher up the food chain than its victim.’

You mean that it does not have any one form?

‘We believe this to be the case – and from some of our early experiments, have already demonstrated that lag at its molecular level will always begin to bond and expand exponentially with its surroundings. This then leads to the theory that given enough time and absorption of its environment, LAG eventually become a destructible force and continues along that path.’

You are on record as suggesting that the LM may be taking bunnies for their natural ability to burrow underground and mine for resources, is this still your view today?

‘Taking all things into consideration, I believe so. You have to look at the pattern that has been forming recently and notice that LAG has been affecting Bunny Land much more prevalently than elsewhere. This correlates directly to our view that the monster needs many of those that it takes to already have some mining experience, to mine for lag particles that it requires to feed from and therefore exist. Without its own natural supply of lag, it would not be able to materialize and therefore needs its own resources as well as others to continue its cycle. It’s as though the monster is trapped in an endless cycle of a need to feed and the need for others to help feed it. Unfortunately the manner of its very existence threatens our very own existence and therefore the two cannot coexist together.’

This brings me to my final question, and please feel free to correct any inaccuracy as we really must ask. But we have been hearing word that A.T.B.A.S.T.L are in direct contact with the only known “Survivor” of the lag-monsters world, discovered wandering the desert plains by a Herdsbun, babbling and confused, but telling of a strange tale that he was endlessly digging, others being there, darkness and monsters that feasted on those that could not survive. The story seems to get even stranger when told that the bunny says he was taken in the year 1903 and yet appears not to have aged in the slightest, other than the disheveled and confused state he was found in.

‘No comment.’

Thank you for your time Professor.

Please be sure to read Katies second interview on the subject of LAG with Boo on later in the week.